First Ultrasound

I had my first ultrasound since starting stims! I have 15 follicles! It is less than last time, and Im glad about that. I had 20 with our last cycle and they were poor quality. So I am hoping less is more in this case! I go back again this weekend for another ultrasound, and hopefully to find out when I will get to trigger. I am thinking our ER(egg retrieval) will be on Wed. Yaaaayyyy! I will update after my next ultrasound. It getting here SO fast I cant believe it!

Oh how I missed all these needles

Well, this morning I locked myself in the bathroom, pulled out my vial of lupron and my needle, and then I panicked! I have done this SO many times before, in our previous cycle. No big deal, right? The lupron needles our so small and dont really hurt. But this morning as I stared at this needle that I needed to stab myself with, it didnt seem very little anymore. I needed to hurry, our daughter doesnt know about all of this, and Im sure would be very scared if she saw me standing there with a needle in my stomach! So that is what finally talked me into it. I had to do it soon or I would be caught! SO I did it and it wasnt bad at all. It was just the anticipation. I wish Zack could do them all. He does all my other ones, but hes not there in the morning when I have to take my lupron, he's already at work. :(

I go to my RE on August 20th, so I will know more then! I hope this cycle works out better than the last!

Back from Vacation and Back in the saddle

Well we are back from our trip! We had an amazing time. We floated down the river in Austin, we played in the pool in Houston and we ate alot!!! I have come back very relaxed and 5 pound heavier. It really was a great trip. My niece and nephew have grown SOOO much sine I last saw them at Thanksgiving. I will not go that long without seeing them again.

I had an appt with my RE the morning after we got back. I though it was just a routine appt, I was wrong. He was doing a sonohystogram. It was not pleasant and not expected. First he gave me some injections to numb the area the he put a camera into my cervix and into my uterus. OUCH!!!! It was very uncomfortable. My uterus looked good. So that was a relief. Our 3 embryos we transferred last time did not stick, so we were just double checking that the lining of my utereus was ok. I guess it is, because I start my lupron injections on August 12th! I cant believe we are doing this again! I am very happy and very nervous. I just pray that it will work this time. I will be back when I start my injections!!!

Texas Here We Come

Well, we leave for Texas on Thursday. We are flying to Austin to see my brother, sister in law and my precious nephew and niece. We have a great trip planned with them. Then we are all driving to Houston to visit my Mother and Father in Law and some extended family! I'm very excited. It will be nice to get my mind of everything for bit. We will be gone 8 days. which is great.

I will be getting my period while we are gone. Which means......I'm starting the birth control pill. What that really means is we are officially starting our 2nd IVf cycle! God I hope it works this time! I will be on the pill for a few weeks and then add in the really good meds! I hate the injections! But they will be worth it if it works this time.

So I will be updating when I return home from our trip. Hopefully AF( my period) will arrive like its supposed to and everything will go as planned.!

I cant wait to be nervous!

Ok, sorry its been so long. Its seems I have been waiting and waiting, now its getting closer and Im just getting more and more nervous! Im going to start BCP in July, when I get my next period. Probably around the 10th. We are supposed to go on vacation that day too. We have been saving money for this next round and talking about it alot, but now it seems to be getting real! What it it doesnt work again??? What if it does??? Sounds crazy right? All I want is another child. This is all I think about. If I get pregnant, what will I worry about then??? I have to worry about something....this is who I am. This IVF life is now my life, my life revolves around it. Not that its a good thing, but its the truth. What happens when its not me anymore. I guess I will move on to pregnant life .... I almost am afraid of who I'll be after IVF is over.

I know Im getting WAY ahead of myself here. This could very well not work again. If thats the case, I will have enough to worry about. This will be Z and I's last shot at another baby. We flat out cannot do this again. With no fertility coverage in our health plan, it puts quite a financial strain on us. I am in the process now of getting my meds. I am buying them online for way less, and some sucessful IVF'rs have even said they would donate some to mee. Im keeping my fingers crossed there! Every bit helps.

So, I sit and I wait, I bite my nails and lie awake at night. Hoping that this will be it, and worrying about IF this is it.

I will post agin when I start the pill

My Life.....

Ok. I saw this and love it! I can try to write how I feel all day long, but this sums it up.....


You know you're trying to conceive when...
- the Big 'O' no longer refers to orgasm, but instead to ovulation-
you show everyone who will look at your bbt charts
- every twinge is a potential sign: ovulation pain OR perhaps implantation
-it no longer strikes you as the least bit odd to check out at the pharmacy with both HPTs and tampons in your cart.
- you schedule your social events around your ovulation day
- if your OPK comes up +, you cancel all social engagements that night so you can BD & lie with your legs elevated and butt up in the air afterwards
- you talk using mysterious acronymns that only your ttc buddies understand: ttc, BD, ewcm, bbt, opk, 2ww
- your morning motto is: "Don't talk to me until I've taken my temperature"
- you take your temperature more than once a day (committed TTCer)
- you refuse to finish decorating that 3rd bedroom in your new house, because you can't stand the thought of getting it just the way you want it only to have to tear it apart next month in order to make room for the nursery you'll be needing
.- you put off buying any fall/winter clothes, because you hope they won't fit by the time the weather gets cooler.
- you clip coupons for OPKs and HPTs- your doctor says, "Now take these home and inject this needle into your stomach every day" and you don't even flinch.
- you spend more on OPKs, HPTs, and fertility supplements than you do on clothes
- the thought of nausea makes your heart skip a beat!
- you make a mental note of what day of your cycle it is before you say "ok" to a drink
- you get sick but make sure you can take the medicine in case you are pregnant...and would rather stay sick if you can't take the medicine..
- you finally look forward to mornings! Another opportunity to take and record your temp!
- you refer (and think) of your husband, not as his real name, but as the letters "DH" in real life
- you suffer silently from Infertility Vision (IV) - defined as the ability to see pink lines that nobody else can see. It's a very common condition among POASers during the days leading up to the official test day. Research is still being done, but at present there is no cure for it!

Well, there nothing IVF related to update on lately. We are just waiting and saving our money, hopufully we'll be ready in a month or so....

We did move though! I love our new house. It is adorable. I think it really helped me. It gave me something else to obsess over. All I think about is having another baby. This gave me a way out for a little bit. We are now moved in , and I am of course obssessing again!!!! This is what I do, no one can change that. I bet my DH would love too though :)

I will update as soon as I go back on the birth control pill..... I will never get over that. We WANT to get pregnant and they put you on the pill. So strange, but this whole process is strange. Anyway, I will be back.... hopefully sooner thatn later